When Should You Bring Your Child to Counseling?
When Should You Bring Your Child to Counseling?
It can sometimes be hard to know when your child might benefit from the help of a mental health professional. Maybe you’ve noticed signs of emotional struggle or behavioral shifts, but you’re unsure if it’s just a phase or something that needs more attention. The decision to bring a child to counseling can be daunting but it’s important to remember: you don’t have to navigate this alone.
In this post, we’ll explore some common signs that indicate a child might benefit from counseling, as well as how to approach the process with empathy and understanding.
Signs That It Might Be Time for Counseling
Difficulty Managing Emotions If your child seems overwhelmed by their emotions—whether it's persistent sadness, anger, anxiety, or fear—they might struggle to regulate their feelings in a way that is healthy. You might notice that they react intensely to seemingly small triggers or that their emotions feel out of proportion to the situation.
Children, like adults, need help learning how to process their emotions. While it’s normal for kids to experience big feelings, if those feelings are interfering with their daily life, counseling can offer tools to cope with and express emotions more constructively (Seligman, 2011).
Changes in Behavior Is your child becoming more withdrawn or acting out in ways that are unusual for them? Behavior changes—like increased irritability, a sudden drop in school performance, or disruptive behavior—can signal that something deeper is going on emotionally. Sometimes, these changes can be an attempt to express internal struggles they might not fully understand.
A therapist can help children understand and articulate their feelings, which in turn can reduce negative behaviors (Perry, 2017).
Experiencing a Life Change or Trauma Major life transitions—such as moving to a new school, a parent’s divorce, or the death of a loved one—can leave children feeling vulnerable or confused. While some kids may adjust to changes over time, others might struggle to process the loss or transition. If you see signs of ongoing distress after a major event, such as regression (e.g., bedwetting or clinging behavior), persistent fear, or trouble sleeping, counseling could provide support for both the child and the family.
Research shows that trauma or significant stressors can have long-lasting effects on a child’s emotional and psychological well-being, and professional help can assist with healing (van der Kolk, 2014).
Social Withdrawal or Isolation If your child begins to withdraw from social activities, avoids friends, or expresses a reluctance to participate in group settings, this could indicate anxiety, depression, or other emotional struggles. It’s especially concerning if your child expresses feelings of loneliness or doesn’t want to leave the house, which can be signs of deeper issues.
A mental health therapist can provide a safe, supportive environment where your child can address these feelings and develop social coping strategies.
How to Approach the Conversation
Talking to your child about counseling can feel like a delicate subject. You might be worried they’ll feel embarrassed, resistant, or even confused about what therapy involves. Here are a few tips to approach the topic with sensitivity and openness:
Normalize the Process
Frame counseling as a positive and proactive step for getting support, much like seeing a doctor for physical health concerns. Let them know that it’s okay to ask for help when things feel overwhelming or confusing.Make It a Team Effort
Assure your child that counseling isn’t about “fixing” them but helping them build skills to handle life’s challenges. You’re in this together, and therapy can be a valuable tool to empower them to feel better and more confident.Respect Their Pace
It’s important to listen to any concerns or fears they have about counseling. If your child isn’t ready, it may be worth having a few more conversations, exploring other ways they can express their feelings, and checking in regularly about how they’re doing.
The Benefits of Counseling for Children
Counseling isn’t just about addressing problems; it’s also about fostering resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness. In a therapeutic setting, children learn tools to better manage their emotions, communicate effectively, and cope with stress. With the right guidance, they develop skills that can serve them well throughout their lives.
In the right setting, therapy can also help children build self-esteem and increase their sense of agency over their feelings and experiences. Over time, this creates a foundation for healthier relationships and a more resilient mindset.
How to Choose the Right Counselor
Finding the right therapist for your child can make a world of difference. Look for someone who specializes in paediatric mental health and has experience working with the specific issues your child is facing. Recommendations from trusted sources, such as school counsellors, General Practitioners or paediatricians, can also be valuable in finding the right fit.
It’s also important to ensure the therapist uses age-appropriate techniques. Play therapy, for example, is often an effective approach for younger children, helping them communicate through play rather than words (Landreth, 2012).
Conclusion
It’s natural to feel uncertain about when to seek professional help for your child, but by trusting your instincts and watching for signs of emotional or behavioral struggles, you can take important steps to support their mental well-being. Counseling is not only for crisis moments—it can also help children develop lifelong emotional skills and resilience.
If you’re considering counseling, be kind to yourself throughout the process. Parenting is hard work, and seeking help when needed is a powerful way to show love and care for your child’s emotional health.
If you’d like to explore resources that could help you navigate this journey, here are a few suggestions:
If you would like to contact Together To Grow to discuss whether therapy is right for your child please reach out for your free 15 minute consult today.
References
Perry, B. D. (2017). The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics: Application to Trauma and Resilience in Children. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 18(2), 232–241.
Seligman, M. (2011). The Optimistic Child: A Proven Program to Safeguard Children Against Depression and Build Lifelong Resilience. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.
Landreth, G. L. (2012). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (3rd ed.). Routledge.
